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1980 |
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Welcome back to the decade when times were simpler, you were still cool, and the
music was worth dancing to. And what better way to begin than with the year that
started it all. Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. Children of all ages. It
is my honor and privilege to present you with 1980. Let the nostalgia begin…
Back then, Devo
wanted you to ‘Whip It’ and Michael Jackson wanted to ‘Rock With You’. And
though many of us are still not entirely sure what we were supposed to be
‘whipping,’ I think we’ve all figured out precisely who Michael Jackson wanted
to be ‘rocking with.’ And frankly, I’m shocked. In those days, did your thoughts
of Plastic Man’s outrageous “flexibility” end up in the gutter? Because today,
that’s all your filthy little mind can think of. Shame on you!
1980 was filled
with scary movies guaranteed to have you sleeping with the lights on. Friday
The 13th introduced America to a poor swimmer named Jason Voorhees, The
Shining proved that all work and no play makes Jack Nicholson a very, very
angry boy, and Flash Gordon was, well, not exactly scary, but it was
frighteningly bad.
As scary as some
of 1980’s films were, others were guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that milk
came out your nose. Who could forget Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor in Stir
Crazy (“We bad, we bad”) and John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd in The Blues
Brothers (“We’re on a mission from god”)?
Ah yes, it was a
year like none other. Richard Gere went full monty in American Gigolo,
Superman gave up his powers to bed Lois Lane in Superman II, and
everyone wanted to kiss Flo’s grits on
Alice.
Strange that in a year when so many great characters came out, others that
should of, like Monroe on Too Close For Comfort, did not. I mean, come
on. Who was he fooling?
It was a time in
history when all of the truly important questions were being asked. What is the
meaning of life? Is there such a thing as free will? No, nothing as boring as
that. I said truly important questions, like: Would you have any Grey Poupon? Is
eight really enough? How hungry is your hippo? And why can’t Richie Rich afford
something other than that same blue shorts and tuxedo outfit that he wore every
single day?
It seems like only
yesterday that the Solid Gold dancers were shaking it to the beat, poor Private
Benjamin just couldn’t do anything right, and Real People started the whole
‘reality tv’ craze by featuring folks that were real weird, real eccentric, and
sometimes, real gross.
So slip on your
satin jackets and tie on a wrist full of friendship bracelets. It’s time for
1980!