can’t even begin to discuss the year 1985 without the Brat Pack. Demi, Andrew,
Rob, Emilio, Judd, Anthony Michael, Molly, Ally…I could go on all day. Oh wait,
there’s one more brat packer, the chick from St Elmo’s Fire who ate the PB&J
with Rob Lowe… and then he bangs her. Don’t you remember? She loved it! It must
have been the saxophone that got her all worked up.
1985 single handedly put a hole in the ozone layer. Hair was big- the bigger the better…and men were wearing makeup. Thanks to Vince Neil & Nikki Sixx, Aquanet & black eyeliner were a grocery list staple. Speaking of Motley Crue, their video “Home Sweet Home” paid tribute to wild groupies way before Kid Rock did. You can almost see that one girl’s boobs before they cut away. Damn.
“You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have, the facts of life…” Too bad George Clooney never showed Tootie the facts of life. That I’d like to see. And was I the only one that realized Jo wasn’t a tomboy, she was a lesbian! Groundbreaking television, people. Also on TV back in 1985, everyone’s favorite secret agent: McGyver. Every week McGyver saved the world from some maniacal tyrant, but he took the high road and refused to carry a gun. However, he could make an atom bomb out of a post-it note and two paperclips. Richard Dean Anderson was hot, too. Wasn’t he? Oh wait, that’s Pam Anderson. You’ll have to watch 1989 for her.
Dr. Rosenpenis himself, Chevy Chase, had a hit on his hands with “Fletch.” “Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.” He was actually kinda sexy back then. Way before that whole talk show debacle. I mean it. Come on, throw me a freakin’ bone here.
You think Beanie Babies are cute? They’ve got nothing on Pound Puppies. Pound Puppies were the #1 selling toy of the year, thanks to all that yuppie cash. “Pound puppies, you’re my one and only puppy love….” We also spent our money on a little doll for boys, named “My Buddy.” Very un-pc. But the commercial you just couldn’t get out of your head…walking down the street singing “My Bud-dy, My Bud-dy..” you see, the inflection kinda goes down on the second “Buddy”…oh, whatever.
What was Eddie Murphy thinking when he sang “Party All The Time”? Was he trying to follow in Don Johnson’s footsteps? You know that whole tv-star-turned-singer thing? Who knows, but it was silly. Not as silly as Pluto Nash, but…hey, you know what else was silly? “The Superbowl Shuffle” with The Bears. Excuse me, Mr. “Punky QB”? What the hell are you doing? You can’t sing. Please, grab The Fridge and hit the showers.
What if you could go Back To The Future like Marty McFly? Would you date your mom like he did? Maybe if your mom was as hot as Lea Thompson. Time travel never looked so good as that Delorean going 88 miles an hour. Don’t even get me started on the flux capacitor. That thing was freakin’ awesome. And long before he kicked David Letterman in the face, Crispin Glover made his movie debut. What a freak.
Finally, everybody’s favorite everyman, John Cusack. Sigh. Now this guy didn’t just land on the scene with a boombox blaring “In Your Eyes.” He started off slowly, and somewhat awkwardly, with “Better Off Dead,” and my all time personal favorite movie, “The Sure Thing.” You got Anthony Edwards, Daphne Zuniga, and that woman who does the voiceovers for Hidden Valley Ranch dressing as a college professor. What’s bad? Oh, and who didn’t shotgun a beer or two way back when? Good times, people. Good times.